FROM SUICIDE ATTEMPT TO LIVING FOR A CAUSE

The life story of Sandesh Subedi can inspire many people. Photo: Sandesh Subedi

By LB THAPA

Falling into the pit of depression invariably leads to nowhere. We must have seen or heard about many known and unknown people who became victims of depression and the tragic end of their lives.  Sandesh Subedi’s story is no different. But, what is special about his life is his fight against depression and a dramatic change that brought a U-turn in his life. What makes it even more special is he got victory over depression and suicidal mentality without any doctors, psychiatrists, or medicine’s help. 

His story of falling into the cobweb of depression and losing all faiths in himself had pushed him to a broken point. Soon he realized that death was much dearer than life and he was on the brink of committing suicide. 

Well, can you imagine anything like this in your life? I am not telling you any fictional story. I am going to tell you the story of a young man, full of life, whose life was saved at the last moment when he had almost ended his life. And, however, today he is living a wonderful life.

 

The only purpose of writing his real-life story is to learn a lesson from his experience of life and death that suicide is not the end of life. There is a beautiful life beyond that.

 

Perhaps there is one disease that is even more viral and highly contagious than coronavirus itself. The name of this virus is of course loveria virus. Mostly this virus is found among teenagers. Due to the effect of this virus, they fall in love instantly---so I call this virus loveria. Sandesh Subedi was no different. On the threshold of teenage, Sandesh Subedi was bitten by the loveria bug and consequently, he fell in love with a lash from his village Gyandi, Parbat.

 

Their love for each other intensified with every passing year and soon they decided to give a name to their love. They sought their parents’ agreement to get married, but to their astonishment, they received a big ‘NO’ from their parents. As a protest, Sandesh left his home to Pokhara. He continued his study in Pokhara and began doing odd jobs in order to support his study and daily expenses.

 Sandesh has found a new meaning of life with cycling

Sandesh was still getting busy making necessary arrangements so that after marriage they can live comfortably in Pokhara. In the meantime, one news shattered the dream of Sandesh’s life into thousand pieces. His beloved was getting married to a man from her next village. To add his sorrow further he was told that she was extremely happy with the marriage.

 

Sandesh could not believe in the news about the marriage of his beloved. Despite several phone calls, he could not get her response. Thus, he immediately went to his village Gyandi, Pipaltari, Parbat to meet her in person. He was barred by her parents and it was not possible to meet her.

 

Sandesh’s only demand was to meet her one last time and if she says she does not love him anymore then he would make no scene there and he would return to Pokhara. Finally, her parents agreed and they brought her before him.

 

Sandesh was certain that the marriage was against her wish but what she told in his face shocked him. She said that the marriage was as per her wish and she was happy with the marriage. What Sandesh heard from her mouth was simply unbelievable for him!

 

“I always loved her from the bottom of my heart and it was impossible for me to forget her. Moreover, what actually broke me apart was when she told me that my love for her was one-sided and she always treated me more like a friend---there could not be a bigger lie than that. I felt as if my heart was being pulled out of my chest. I merely watched her helplessly—utterly depressed and confused”.

 

The pang of separation was not as painful as her lies that tore him apart. He realized his life had no purpose and decided to end his life.

 

“My mind became blank. My cognitive skill ceased functioning and so did my brain. For some time, my brain and my body disconnected from each other. Then my condition was much like a rudderless boat that would drift to any direction with the gush of wind and that was the moment when I firmly decided to end my life”.

 

Stealing the eyes of everyone Sandesh ran fast towards a cliff. Jumping off that cliff means certain death. At the last moment, a friend of his saw him running towards the cliff. His friend took no time to understand the intention of his friend. He too ran fast and before Sandesh could take a final leap to embrace death; his friend held him tight and saved his life.

 

Living in the village was unbearable for him. Sandesh immediately left the village to Pokhara. But the painful memories of his fiancée’s betrayal did not stop haunting him in Pokhara. As a result, he began falling into bouts of depression.

 

After much contemplation, he reached the conclusion that to get eternal peace from all kinds of pain and agony he has to destroy his body. One day before his scheduled suicide day, by chance he met Ajit Baral, a world cyclist and a popular man of Pokhara. That was the epoch-making day in Sandesh’s life. That meeting turned Sandesh's life into 360 degrees.

 

“I knew Ajit Baral as a respected cyclist but my acquaintance with him was new. I was not very close to him. But on that very day, I think Ajit Ji might have understood my mental condition. Instead of giving a long lecture on not to commit suicide, he asked me to shave off my head. Even remotely I had not anticipated something like that he would demand from me. I could not refuse him because I respected him too much. As he had asked, the next day I went to meet him with my shaven head. After then he said buy a mountain bike and start riding it wherever I wanted but don’t stop until I was completely exhausted. I could not argue with him but I promised him to follow his words”.

 

Once Sandesh started cycling his mountain bike, it became his new girlfriend and a lifelong companion. He has already paddled over two dozen districts of the country. Long-distance cycling demands mental and physical toughness. Today Sandesh Subedi is no more a weak man. It is his new avatar as a tough cyclist. Now he is not only physically tough but mentally as well.

 

“I am inspired by Ajit Baral, the world cyclist. If he had not encouraged me for the cycling, I would have been dead long ago. Ajit ji is responsible not only to save my life but also to give meaning to my life”, said Sandesh with a broad smile across his face.

 

Sandesh is very happy today because his family members are very supportive, especially his father. His father is happy because his son has found a cause to live for.

 

Sandesh is going to start Mahakali to Mechi cycling tour by next week. He is glad to see that there is a sizeable number of people in our society, who have come out to extend their full support for him. He is much indebted to Mr. Ram Chandra Joshi, the mayor of Kushma district; Padam Giri, the Member of Parliament, Parbat district and Lion’s Club of Parbat District, have supported his Mahakali to Mechi cycling tour.   

LB Thapa is a Pokhara-based freelance writer and author. 

LEGAL WARNING

All rights reserved. No articles and photos published in this blog can be reproduced without the prior written permission of the author. Legal action will be taken immediately if any articles or photos are reproduced without the author’s knowledge. However, articles or photos can only be reproduced by duly mentioning the author’s name and the blog's name (read2bhappy.blogspot.com). The author must be informed by sending an email. All articles and the photos published in this blog are the copyright property of LB THAPA.